Hi, I'm Gwen, and this is Jackass.
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY CAT ALLL DAY AND AFrer WALKING OUT LOOKING FOR HER I SEE HER IN THE NEIGHBOURS WINDOW ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS ARE LOCKED AND THEY ARE ON HILIDAY HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUC K
THAT IS MY CAT AND THAT IS NOT MY HOSUE
when my parents try to lie to me
hello me again I like men.
”’I’m really not a cat person”’
but their feeT LOOK LIKE BEANS
THEIR. FEET. LOOK. LIKE. BEANS.
The Harry Potter movies added many scenes that I disagree with.
This is not one of them.
"you can’t copy my homework because our teacher will know that you copied it from me"
People do this to me so often I have to wonder if smoking is a habit like nail biting where the person is not consciously aware that a cigarette is moving toward their face and being lit.
not over it
Every morning the light comes in and my toilet looks beautiful
Please tell me that was an intentional pun